If you hear someone say global warming, ignore them

Let us be the first in 2014 to write the obituary for the global warming argument.

It’s dead. At least it is for now. The frigid temperature readings we’ve experienced lately are all the proof some people need to show the entire global warming debate is a man-made concoction filled with holes.

This is clearly a fluid position. Indeed, when the oppressive humidity of southern and southwestern states hits this summer, we’re well aware the global warming enthusiasts will be out in force, pontificating on the warming trends of the past five decades as clear proof that something is amiss on the planet.

When that time comes, we’ll listen. But for now, when someone brings up global warming, ignore them. If they clarify it with climate change, tell them come back in the spring. We only know what the past five days have brought us. And the five days before that. And so on.

Let us also be the first to say we don’t dispute the findings of renowned scientists, environmentalists and a former vice president of the United States, Al Gore.

We’re just inclined at this point to dismiss them for the sake our own sanity.

With temperatures hovering – hollering might be a better word – in the minus range and ice formations reminiscent of glacial activity, warm is not a word we hear frequently.

It’s cold. How cold? Think Rura Penthe, the fictional Klingon penal colony in “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.” This cold is cutting to our bones.

Ok, so we’re being harsh. Well, so is Mother Nature, who clearly has something to say about the matter. For those who object to the term “Mother Nature” for whatever reason, we say get a grip, especially as you try to avoid slipping on the ice. This weather just doesn’t bode well for niceties.

Mainers, unlike most of the rest of the country, are used to this. Sure, other New Englanders in  Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and Connecticut have to deal with these cold temperatures and the horrific conditions they spawn. But there’s something about being at the top of the national weather map, and listening to NBC’s Today Weatherman Al Roker point to our state, which is bordered by only New Hampshire and Canada.

To be sure, the entire country has been given a frigid geography lesson over the past several weeks, as ice storm after ice storm lined up, braced to pounce on Maine and all the surrounding areas.

Naturally, the national media narrative tends to focus on Boston and New York. We’re not mad at them. We’re just happy to see a mention about icy roads and cold temperatures, as Maine certainly has had both, even as Mainers readily admit this is an unseasonably cold winter, especially this early.

Maine is not alone. The Midwest, mostly in places such as Iowa, Indiana, Illinois, Minnesota, Nebraska, Ohio, Wisconsin and Nebraska, continue to receive their annual pummeling from the elements. In fact, the National Football League was concerned about the weather in Green Bay when the Packers played the San Francisco 49ers. Not to worry. Not even the ghost of Vince Lombardi himself could change the outcome, as the normally calm weather Bay Area Niners defeated the Packers.

It’s not any better in the South. PCities and towns in Louisiana, including normally humidity blessed New Orleans, are watching record cold temperatures go below freezing. We can empathize as most places there aren’t equipped to handle these temperatures. Snow plows are practically non existent, and super warm weather gear is a cruel rumor.

Still, the people there cope the best they can.

The ones who got it right this time were the editors at Farmers Almanac. They warned us several months ago that this would be one brutal winter, with temperatures and snowfall pretty much on target with their predictions.

With all of the cold weather, icy conditions and snow on the ground, we would be remiss if we didn’t't urge people to drive with extra caution. It’s amazing how some motorists – not all but far too many – see icy roads and piles of slush as opportunities to drive faster than normal. That one defies all explanation, other than the fact physics was clearly not their college major.

As easy as it is to pick on those who purport to know so much about the planet’s climate and all of that, we should remind them that that none of us were around when there was something called an ice age. Let’s hope this recent weather isn’t a prelude to its return. That would be far worse than this.

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